Trapped in a Cosmic Bathtub

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This story is based on a script one of my roommates asked me to come up with in like 20 minutes.

Ensign Williams had a strange pain in his head. The last thing he remembered was entering the starship's bridge to deliver a report to the Captain. Now he was laying on the ground next to a toilet in a square room. There was nothing in the room but the toilet and a bathtub.

Confused, Williams stood up to examine the bathtub. Inside was the Captain himself unconscious. He looked a bit rough, the shirt of his uniform was partially untucked and his hair was quite messy. Williams had never seen the Captain in this bad of shape, in the back of his mind he looked forward to being able to confirm to his friends that the Captain's hairstyle was indeed an elaborate comb-over, but he had more important things to worry about at that moment.

The Captain began to stir. Williams, startled, let out, "Captain! Captain!"

The Captain slowly opened his eyes then immediately sprung to life. "Ensign, what on Earth is going on?" he asked standing in the bathtub.

Williams reported, "I don't know sir, the last thing I remember was entering the bridge to deliver the bi-weekly life support systems status report then I suddenly woke up in here with you."

The Captain became visibly angry as it appeared he came to a dark realization. "The Bermidians are in clear violation of Order 200519a of the warp-speed freedom treaty."

"You ordered the ship to travel at warp speed through Bermidian territory?"

"We were carrying time sensitive cargo and needed to get to Tunicia as fast as possible, you knew that Ensign. We would not be in this predicament had the Bermidians not been in violation of intergalactic law."

Suddenly there was loud creaking in the pipes and the bathtub began to fill rapidly. "The door Ensign!" the captain shouted.

Williams frantically jiggled the door handle then proceeded to put his full weight against it. "It won't budge Captain, we are locked in."

The tub began to overflow. The Captain looked around the room. "Flush yourself down the toilet Ensign, it is our only way out of here."

Williams stepped into the toilet and tried the lever. Water sprayed from the top of the toilet bowl into the Ensign's boots. "I'm not going anywhere sir?"

"Then it seems we are left here to die a drunk man's death, drowned in a cosmic bathtub." were the last words of the formidable Captain Layneford.